I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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