dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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