My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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