and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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