I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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