His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
