Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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  (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls
  Replies (38) Good night (8531) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs

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  (502): And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs http://tfl.nu/2r8e
  Replies (41) Good night (789) Bad night (3393) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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  (401): I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes" http://tfl.nu/jvdp
  Replies (13) Good night (4766) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

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  (740): I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies. http://tfl.nu/6rhb
  Replies (35) Good night (7575) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I love having hate sex.

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  (705): I love having hate sex. http://tfl.nu/fz63
  Replies (43) Good night (5139) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22074) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

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  (415): they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car.. http://tfl.nu/4cqo
  Replies (11) Good night (3183) Bad night (821)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close

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  (917): I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close http://tfl.nu/ibae
  Replies (5) Good night (3295) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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  (915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg
  Replies (16) Good night (3659) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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  (551): The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet. http://tfl.nu/8f2g
  Replies (7) Good night (2576) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex

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  (518): I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex http://tfl.nu/h730
  Replies (10) Good night (2572) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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  (336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt
  Replies (6) Good night (1795) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.

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  (425): ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense. http://tfl.nu/ojne
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  (509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy
  Replies (7) Good night (1441) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.

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  (248): I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body. http://tfl.nu/nnda
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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