i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.