My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo