so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby