why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
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Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.