"it" just moved
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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