jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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