I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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