Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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