Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
