too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be your penis for a week.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize