I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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