It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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