it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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