were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
