She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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