The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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