You can't motorboat a personality
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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