me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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