This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date