just tell him i said nine months
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.