Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.