come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa