How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
did i walk over a car last night?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
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You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.