Do you still have your period?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Green mimosas i think yes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?