Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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