I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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