I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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