Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
