all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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