so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
