Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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