Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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