Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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