If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
