Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize