Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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