tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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