Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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