he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
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Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize