i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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