You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize