so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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