After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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