I wish I only lived at night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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