bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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