I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk