tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
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it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here