Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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