Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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