i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dick very happy bro
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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