I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i believe in u and ur pee
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize